NEWSLETTER

 

January 2012 Newsletter

 

(Posted: January 21, 2012)

I wrote the following post this morning:

“The snow is beautiful! I got up this morning and stood at the door with a cup of
coffee in hand and realized how much the snow reminds me of life. A new snow is
flawless, just like we perceived life to be when we were younger. Then the neighbor kid runs all over your turf and the snow doesn't look as good as it did before it was untouched. Again, just as our lives seem to be trampled on as we grow. But, then it becomes new again when the neighbor kids dad starts shoveling your walk and driveway. Just as we get over being trampled on, and then given new hope, just not the same way as it was. So, I think this realization deserves more coffee and stay in where it is warm! Thank you Lord for showing me this today, and for giving me a sweet neighbor to take care of something I was unable to do."

We can take any situation or any moment in time and look for the negatives in life, but what if you took a moment and turn it into a positive?   Lately, the Lord has really been at work in my life. It hasn’t always been easy to do as He is leading, but I know without a doubt that it is for my own good. He knows that I wish to serve Him by serving widows in a huge capacity. I know that because He has been preparing me all of my life for this moment. As I have shared over the years, I would rather have kept my husband Stan with me, but He knew that it was going to take Stan’s death to teach me about life and to find my purpose.

 

I have had a second chance at love and I adore my husband Larry. He hasn’t taken Stan’s place, but he has fulfilled the brokenness so that I may carry out what the Lord has set before me. I have been given another chance to learn not to take anything in life for granted. And, we have to make choices in life that are not easy. For instance, Larry has had to travel back and forth to Nashville from our new home in Lititz, PA to work. We haven’t been happy about the transition, but it is something we have had to do in order to make ends meet.   But what has come out of our separation has been a relationship that we wouldn’t have otherwise had. We are closer for it and I am more in love with him than I thought I could ever be. And I know that God has His hand on us and our marriage.  

As sinners we are so quick to judge others because of choices that are made and not understood, but if you know that you are being guided by God, that is all the answer you need.  We don’t need affirmation from a friend or need their approval in our decisions much less do we need to be judged because they do not understand the calling on our lives that God has set forth.  

I share these things with you because the Lord is at work in all of us. Not just me. I have had the opportunities lately to speak about the needs of widows and to share about Widow2Widow® and He is blessing those efforts and it will grow. We will be expanding our territory because this is His ministry. I have had the opportunities to share His word of encouragement to others and in return, I am learning more about the needs of others in ways that have caused my heart to feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. I am being reminded that I cannot help everyone, even those that are dearest to my heart. But, I will not give up because the Lord has not given up on me.

I have a family that loves me and that I adore. I have a granddaughter that I will get to spend time with on her first birthday coming up and it is MeMe’s time with her MeGirl. I am taking a few days to put lots of love and effort with my family and at the same time I am serving God. I want my granddaughter to know who her MeMe is. Not just as her MeMe, but to witness her MeMe as being a child of God. I want to set an example and leave a legacy for her and her children.

 

So, with that in mind, the Lord has really been filling my heart with wanting to do more with my life and in helping others. I will always be His servant to witness to others and encourage them to get to know Him more. Have a walk with God and His word. I am renewing so much of my life to serve Him and the commitment to do so and it is exciting.

Honestly, I am so glad that 2011 is over. It was a rough year for me personally, and 2012 is shaping up to be much better. Why? Because I have been seeking the face of God and spending more time listening and waiting for the guidance and word He wants to share with me. I am excited to see where He will lead us and looking forward to serving Him as a woman of Faith, as a leader in Widow2Widow®, Inc., as a wife, as a mother, as a grandmother, as a friend. Whatever the role, I want to do as He would wish, because I know it will be for His Ultimate Glory. Will I continue to be pruned? Yes, but that means I am on the right track and refining silver is very difficult and a lot of work. Being a Christian is not easy, but it is worth the trials because we learn where strength comes from and who it comes from. 2012 has already brought more friends into my life who are helping me to be a better Christian, a woman of faith and a servant. In return, I get to have the opportunities to continue to encourage, educate, to love, to be truthful, even if it hurts, as long as God continues to light my path in His honor.

 

So, my question? How can we help one another on our walk to seek new purpose in our lives according to God’s will?

 

November - Thanksgiving Newsletter

(Posted:  November 17, 2011)

 

Oh, it is that time again…….the holidays.

I can remember as a little girl, how excited I was for the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas meant times to be with all of my family and I love the memories of being in the kitchen with my grandmother and learning how to cook some of the most wonderful “southern” dishes.

Even as I married and had my children, I still enjoyed going to Grandma’s house and being with all of the extended family. There would be so many of us in her home that it felt as if the walls would bulge out as each of us grandkids were having kids of our own.

So, next week is Thanksgiving. So many things have happened over the years. My immediate family and including Grandma are now in heaven and the family has grown as each of us “grandkids” are having “MeKids”, but the closeness that we all shared growing up has gone away. But, I have to say that I am so glad to have such wonderful memories of many, many Thanksgivings of my past.

When my husband died, that first Thanksgiving in 2000 was more difficult than I could have imagined. My son and I were now completely alone in Nashville, TN. Yes, by this time we had friends  and they have since become my Mothers, Grandmothers and Sisters. But, that first year was something I never had felt before, lonely . I sent Tyler to spend the day with some friends that were traveling and I had every intention of going back home and crawling into bed and forgetting about the world. I didn’t want to feel anything. But, I was in the beginning phases of starting up a widows ministry and a young widow whose husband was killed in May of that year called as I was heading home. She had asked if I could come over and visit with her because she was having a very difficult time, along with her son, Austin and her in-laws. I told Letty that I really just needed to go on home and that we could talk later, but then, I felt that tug on my heart (yes, from God), that I should make that visit. So, I found myself going over to her in-laws house and they were all broken. Not only did he leave behind his young wife and child, but he left behind siblings and parents that were having just as difficult of a time trying to grasp the loss at their table and in their hearts.

That first Thanksgiving , everything of any tradition was gone. The pain that I was in was unbearable, and yet, being around others that needed to share their grief and loss was one of the first steps of healing and as the widow ministry began to grow, so did my heart in caring for others and how I want to be there to help get through these times.

Earlier, you notice I said that I had more Mothers, Grandmothers and Sisters than I could have ever imagined. Well, now that I am older, I am now finding myself adopting sons and daughters and yes, even granddaughters. This year, I am officially a MeMe for the first Thanksgiving in my history. My new husband and I will be joining our son, daughter-in-law and MeGirl for the holiday, but we will be sharing it with an adopted daughter and granddaughter as well.

I share these things with you because the Lord wants you to know that He is there, embracing you with His guidance, His love and His desires to help you through this difficult time. He will place certain people at just the right moment to bring you peace, even if for a brief period of time. He will make His presence known to you. However, if you remain closed off to avoid the pain and anguish, you may not allow yourself to feel His Grace upon you. Sometimes it is easier to crawl back in bed and pull the covers over our heads and not “deal” with anything. But, from experience, if you will get up, get dressed and open your hearts to allow God’s presence to come to you, then you will know peace and perhaps even experience joy……if only for a moment. That moment will be worth getting out of bed and to not have experienced it at all. Remember, happiness is based on circumstances and joy is a gift from God. You can find joy in the midst of all that is going on.

Don’t feel as if you cannot share your memories of your husband. The family may not understand, but if it will help you to get through this day, then YOU need to make that happen. Remember, everyone has lost that person too, but unless they have been on this journey, they have no idea what you are going through. It is healthy to talk about him. I know that it was nice to hear Stan’s name being mentioned to show that he was not forgotten by others. Even after all these years and I am remarried, I still like hearing Stan’s name brought up in memories and for our son who is now a father himself.

Blessings to each of you and please, if you feel that you cannot get out of bed, call someone that is an encouragement to you. Email me if you want at widow2widow@aol.com, I will be available 24/7 since emails come to my phone. I will be honored to respond in any way that God directs.

NEWSLETTER

November 3, 2011 Widow2Widow®,Inc. has just celebrated its 10 years of ministry. We had widows at various stages of their journey attend this retreat and I cannot express to you how God’s presence was evident for that weekend. Our theme was “Expanding our Territories” from the Jabez Prayer.   When the theme came to me last year, I had no idea where God would lead. I have prayed the Prayer of Jabez for a number of years, but that one part, “expanding my territory” I would leave out most of the time. Why? As humans, we don’t really accept change with an open heart. But, God has a wonderful sense of humor to use this as we continued to pray about how we would celebrate our 10 years of serving God, by serving widows. In that year, he moved up my time frame of leaving TN and moving to PA. The plan was that we would become debt free within 5 years and plan to move up to Lancaster County, PA. Well, before the one year of planning this retreat was up, I became a MeMe for the second time and then we made our move to PA (5 years early). Everything has fallen into place and for the first time in many years, I feel as if I am at home. I have seemed to have my share of sorrows in life, we all have. And, it sometimes feels as I have done something wrong in my life to have so many “bad” things happen. It is easy for us to give up on our faith and give in to the temptations of the guilt, not feeling worthy of anything, much less the love of friends, family and even more so, our Lord Jesus. Anything good in life is worth fighting for, my faith is worth fighting for. If that means I must continue to be “tempted” and tested in ways that hurt and are uncomfortable, then I guess that means I am doing as God wishes and those things are going to bring me closer to Him. I need to walk with Him, talk with Him, study His word and feel His presence, for He is always present, even when I don’t feel it. I know this to be fact because of my faith and I can see how He has helped me to make certain choices. He knows more about me and knows what I am destined for. I don’t know those things, but like confiding in friends and our loved ones, we must continue to seek His face and His will for our lives. With His Grace and Mercy, we will be able to achieve great things. For me, achieving great things has been celebrating 10 years of this ministry when most widow ministries didn’t make it this far. I am not doing anything special to have this ministry reach such a milestone, but it is what God is doing through me and others to share His love, His Word, His encouragement for one another that has made it a success. But, there is much more work to be done. I know that my move to Lancaster County is a divine appointment and that this ministry is about to expand its territory beyond some of the most rugged borders we could ever imagine. And knowing that I am doing as He leads, I will continually be met with the opposition to discourage me, to rob me of the joy in serving God. But, I stand firm in His full armor of righteousness and move forward knowing that I am doing as He desires for my life. My calling has become more and more evident in serving God, by serving widows. I am here to encourage the widows and to help them find new purpose and to guide them onto a new path as they move forward in their journey. I am here to educate the churches and communities of the needs of widows within their own boundaries. We are in a world that has become materialistic and we don’t have the opportunities to have prayer in our schools or on the sports fields.  We are in a society where there is more hatred and intolerance rather than love one another and patience. I wish for nothing more than to be able to do this ministry on a full time basis, to have more speaking engagements and time to just sit and listen to the widows and their stories. I am honored and humbled for such a role in life. I still hope to write and share what God wants others to know. And you know what? I know that time is coming. I know that He is working to make all of this happen and I am forever grateful for the trials and sorrows in life because there is a season for everything just as Ecclesiastes 3 states:     So, as we are coming to the end of 2011, won’t you join me by committing yourself to prayer as to what God would have you do for the new year? Will you help me to enlarge territories by tearing down the barriers and walls that stop us for moving forward? May God bless you through these holidays and please be checking the website for more newsletters and announcements as the ministry begins to grow.

July 4, 2011   As I was holding my MeGirl today and celebrating her first 4th of July, I could only wonder what changes she will see in our country and if she will ever know the price others pay for our freedom in so many different wars.  Will her generation understand the importance of what our flag stands for?  What kind of violence will her generation experience?  I know over my 49 years, so many changes have occurred, and some not for the better.  Will I be able to share with her about the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made for us?  There are so many things our children and grandchildren face these days that we could never have imagined and it is time for us to band together in prayer for they are going to be our future, the future of America and I pray that we do not leave them in such a mess that cannot be recovered from.   Today, I think back as well on the past 11-1/2 years living here in TN and seeing more blessings and losses in that period of time than most receive in a lifetime.  As I prepare for our move to PA, I can't help but realize how many friendships have formed because God planted my son and I here.  He now has a family of his own and it is going to be hard to leave them, but it is time.  We talked about how God calls on our lives and we have been in the place of refining just like how silver is refined.  It is not easy, but we continue on to accomplish what He sets forth for us.  We have the choice to not do those things, or to do them.  If choose not to do them, we might just miss so many blessings.  When He asks to go outside that comfort zone, it is going to be uncomfortable and it is going to be hard, but if we obey, we learn things along the way and then He blesses us for our obedience to serve Him.   This is what is happening to us.  We have not always been faithful and therefore we missed out on a lot of blessings, but God knew that it was those times when I would want to give up and then cry out for help, that His sign for me to see could not be mistaken for anything else but direction in which we are to go.  I am blessed to have a husband that truly believes in the faith that I have and he is so ready for us to have our time together in PA for the next phase of our lives.  I am so going to miss my son and his wife, my MeGirl and MePuppy, but the love we share for one another will only grow in our absence.  My love for Jesus is unmeasurable and worth what I am being asked to do.  And in return, He has provided me a job in the location I "felt" was good.  He provided that my son and his family find a place to live, the means to pay for it and to get a vehicle.  He has provided in every way and more and for that I am truly grateful.   I am grateful to live in a country that I can have this Newsletter to share with you what God wishes for me to do.  I am grateful for a country that honors its freedom in big ways and not ashamed to do so.  I am grateful to be a child of God and know that He has called me to serve Him by serving widows.   Happy 4th of July everyone and be in prayer that you will be as willing to step out in faith and let Him change all that needs to be changed in and within you.   Elaine Cook Servant, Founder and President Widow2Widow, Inc. Serving God, by Serving Widows

Newsletter

I am almost 49 years old and for over 30 of those years, there is a very special man than has meant a great deal to me and I want to share him with you and perhaps you will reminisce on people and their impacts on your lives from an early age and let them know.

Today is Allan Cox’s 74^th birthday. What an amazing man he is and always has been. When I left home to go to college, the Lord put me in a church that made a huge impact on my life. Allan was the Music Minister at the time and we instantly connected. I joined the choir (not that I could sing) and began to get to know Allan and his family. They had become an extension of me and I loved being surrounded by such love and admiration. 

Don’t get me wrong, I had a wonderful Dad. He was my best friend, but my childhood was not what you would call normal in having a Mother diagnosed later in life in being massive bipolar and so many other emotional disorders.

So, being around the Cox family was insight as to what a family is and was and helped me to later want to be married and to have a family of my own.

Allan has always been filled with energy given to him by the Holy Spirit. This man can ring those hand bells at church by running to one end of the table to the other playing solo. I would always watch him in amazement as I realized his talent was a gift from God. That is when I began to really understand about gifts and how the Spirit moves. And it wasn’t long after that I accepted Jesus as my personal savior and have tried to live a life as a Christian should.

Allan married my late husband, Stan and I on August 9, 1986. His wife, Barbara helped me plan the wedding and his daughter, Holly was my maid of honor. It was truly a family affair. Then on August 29, 1989, our second son, Justin was born (and died) and Allan was right there to help with the funeral service and I still have his notes in my Bible. To watch him preach as we buried our son was like watching him bury his own grandchild. The compassion that he showed me was unbelievable. After the funeral, we went back to the Cox home where Holly had been babysitting our son Tyler and I don’t remember a great deal during that time, but I do remember Allan grabbing my hand when I was so weak and just hugged me and cried with me.

Over the years, I began to change and it wasn’t for the better as I had become bitter over the loss of my son, Barbara passed away on our 4^th wedding anniversary, and then my Dad died a couple of years later. I became angry with God as more things in our lives were completely out of control.

With so many things happening in our lives, I felt worthless and a failure in so many ways. I was feeling worthless in the sense of not allowing anyone to know how much I was hurting. So, over the years, I dropped out of the lives of many and I was so unhappy and didn’t let others in, not even Allan.

Well, recently, I let my friend Peggy talk me into getting involved in Facebook for the ministry and as the Lord would have it, Allan was electronic savvy enough to be on it. We have reconnected and it is as if no time has passed. I see his pictures on his page and I see the same Papa Allan from 30 years ago. He hasn’t changed. Not in his looks and certainly not in his love and compassion for others.

Tonight, I was grocery shopping and though I had emailed him early this morning to wish him birthday wishes, I  called him as I was looking for fresh fruit and honestly not thinking he would be home and suddenly, he answered the phone. Instantly, I felt so loved. Isn’t it amazing how God moves? Talking to him and hearing his voice and for him to know instantly it was me…….as if we had been talking all of these years. He would ask how he could pray for me as we are about to be making some changes for our family. Oh, how I have forgotten how good it is to have him be involved in my life and to be a prayer warrior.

Allan, thank you for always being you and for allowing God to use you in such wonderful and amazing ways. You are truly a blessing to many, and I am so thankful that out of all those people, I am one of them. May God continue to use you to bless others in only the way you can because of how you were designed and molded. I love you, and very proud to be one of your adopted daughters. Holly is so blessed!!!!!!!